Jack in the Box Is Better Than Doritos

I’m a simple man with pedestrian tastes. I like my beer lite and my donuts kreme filled. I don’t need fanciness throughout my day. Just get to the point, and I’ll tell you if I approve.

Brooklyn 99- we got Andy Samberg doing goofy shit. Bam! I’m there.

Catching Fire- movie that features implied violence in lieu of entertainment. No thanks. I hope y’all enjoy it though.

I take this same attitude towards my commercials. I get commercials. The things I like need to be paid for and if General Motors wants to foot the bill in the hopes I’m going to buy a Silverado and have it repossessed two months later, I applaud them for it. I don’t want to pay for it. Companies do. I like our arrangement. I just wish every commercial was honest about who their product is for.

Some commercials try to make their product grander than what it is. Every ad campaign should try and be like Jack in the Box’s Late Night Box. It is so ingenious in how appropriate it is. It can easily be boiled down to, “We put some cheese and fries and stuff in a box. Get stoned and eat it.” Nothing could be simpler. It’s late at night, get blazed and enjoy our stuff we’re throwing together. Here’s something to wash it down, be sure to get a large soda because I bet your mouth is dry.

That is a perfect campaign. One that needs some improvement is a new Doritos commercial I saw. There’s this guy who eats a Dorito, and shit goes crazy. Three Doritos later and he’s driving like a maniac and getting pulled over. He gives 6 Doritos to the cop and bam! He’s down for the ride too. Shit has turned into an insane fuckterclust of a night.

So… What are Doritos supposed to be in this scenario? Their counting them, so Doritos are beers? They aren’t behaving like they’re drinking beers. The guys are acting like they are on some heavy drugs. So, Doritos are drugs? Well, that’s not a product I want. And what’s with the counting if Doritos=drugs? Do people count the drugs they do? Can you smoke five cracks?

The Doritos campaign should simply be kids eating the chips while playing video games. Tie it in with the importance of bringing your own controller to a LAN party. Show some dingus getting pwned by a FPS machine called Diggs while his hand is stuck in a Pringles can. Something, anything that speaks to your key demo! Middle schoolers who don’t anything too good to be covered in cheese dust.

Thanks for reading, let me know your thoughts in the comments.

-KD

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